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Scientific Research on the Safety of Wifi

Picture of puppy dog before the wifi study
As you can see, the subject is runtish, dumb, and depressed.

Over the past year or so, there has been an increasing concern among people in our community that Wifi signals are dangerous to our health. From parents who claim their students are being harmed by wifi in the classroom to dutch researchers who believe wifi may be killing the trees, there is no shortage of alarmist vitriol out there surround wifi. Being a big fan of technology and an expert researcher, I decided it was time to do my own research on the safety of wifi. The results of my study may shock you.

Disclaimer: no animals or people were harmed in conducting this research.

So my research project was simple–blast a dog with wifi signals and see if he dies from it. Starting last summer, I procured a chocolate lab puppy and set up his bed next to a wireless router that is blasting out both a 2.4ghz signal and a 5ghz signal. For good measure, I always had my wireless phone and cell phone around too, although I cannot confirm a consistant dose of these waves on the puppy.

Almost a year later, the results are simply astonishing. Not only have the wifi signals not killed the dog, but it appears they have actually make him grow dramatically bigger, smarter and stronger. Over the course of 8 months, the puppy went from being a small runt weighing less then 10 pounds to a beast standing nearly 2 feet tall and weighing over 70lbs. Furthermore, the dogs problem solving skills have dramatically improved, making complex tasks like fetch and retrieve that were once difficult to be almost routine.

Picture of much larger dog after the wifi study
After the test, the subject is robust with a glint of intelligence lying behind those cold, dead eyes.

Shocking, I know.

What does this mean? In the absence of ANY OTHER possible explanation, we can conclude from this study that far for harming us, wifi signals are actually making us bigger, stronger and smarter. While this has only worked with one subject, I am certain if I were to acquire another puppy we would see similar results. The power of wifi is just that strong.

This is great news for human kind and, as a doctor who you should absolutely trust, I am happy to finally put this debate to a close.

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Blog

New Episode of Cripz — Rampway to Heaven

Clara and I released the new episode of Cripz: A Webcomic entitled “Rampway to Heaven” In this episode, Rhett is anxiously awaiting the announcement of the 2010-2011 high school football roster. Will he make it? Won’t he? Only one way to find out!

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Speaking Engagements

School Age Children with Disabilities workshop @ TVCC

This morning I returned to the Thames Valley Children’s Centre for another keynote presentation, this time at the School Age Children with Disabilities Workshop. Similar to my last visit to TVCC, my presentation was to parents of youth with disabilities to talk about the importance of self advocacy and education. It was a great crowd with tremendous conversation following the presentation. Looks like our next generation of youth with disabilities are being well positioned to become the advocates of the future because of some wonderfully supportive parents.

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Speaking Engagements

Stratford Northwest Secondary School

Earlier this summer I was invited to speak to a group of potential principals about teaching youth with “exceptionalities.” It was a really interesting group and I learned during our subsequent discussion that the education system doesn’t just have trouble handling students with disabilities, but also students with above average intelligence. As it turns out, teachers are beginning to look at these two populations in the same way–students whose needs go beyond the standard level required by “average” students. Interesting indeed.

It was at this presentation that I met Jana Bayer-Smith, a teacher from Stratford who expressed interest in me coming to speak to her english class. After a bit of scheduling and a few months waiting, I finally made the trek up to Stratford to speak to her class at Stratford Northwest Secondary School. The kids were awesome (as to be expected) and I had a ton of fun sharing stories and meeting the other teachers. I even managed to make a few friends who share my anti-Bieber sentiment.

Thank you to the staff and students of SNSS for all the support, kind words, and willingness to listen. Also, a special thanks to Jana for bringing me in to visit. You’re an amazing teacher Jana, keep up the great work!

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Speaking Engagements

OB with Digby @ UWO

Tonight I had the chance to get back in the classroom, presenting at Professor Digby’s OB class. It was my first time seeing the revamped UCC class rooms, which feature some exciting accessibility features to allow for teachers with disabilities. The class was great and asked a lot of fun questions, including one student who wanted to know if I could “get drunk.” I’m not sure if he was implying I was drunk at the time–perhaps I was swerving a lot? I have to say, it felt good being back in a university classroom. I’d love to make a habit of this going forward.

Thanks again to Dr. Digby for being such a great host and for the amazing conversation afterwards!

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Speaking Engagements

Thames Valley Neuromuscular Clinic Family Education Day @ TVCC

I headed over to my old stomping ground, the Thames Valley Children’s Centre this morning to deliver at keynote address at the Neuromuscular Clinic Family Education Day. For this morning, I did things a bit differently, incorporating some of the work Clara and I have been doing on Cripz: A Webcomic to talk a bit more about the disability rights movement and creative activism. The presentation went off great with some great questions afterward. Good to see some familiar faces and to meet some new ones as well!

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Articles

Timmah! (repost)

I was sitting at home last night watching television when an old episode of South Park came on called “Up the Down Steroid” (s08e03). As I sat snickering at the immature (but brilliant) jokes I found myself becoming extremely uncomfortable with how the creators had chosen to represent individuals with intellectual disabilities in this particular episode. As I gradually became more and more upset with the flagrant use of the word “retard,” a moment of sheer transcendental brilliance occurred in a scene that I believe completely encapsulates the disability rights movement.

Without delving too deeply into the plot line of the episode, Timmy (my favourite supporting characters who happens to use an electric wheelchair) discovers that his friend Jimmy has been using steroids to gain an edge in the upcoming Special Olympics competition. Disturbed by Jimmy’s outbursts of rage, Timmy approaches Jimmy and begs him to stop taking the pills but Jimmy feels that the issue is not up for discussion. As a result, Timmy decides to report to the school’s guidance councilor with the hopes of getting Jimmy the help he needs, but, there is one problem; the only thing Timmy can say is his own name. The scene proceeds to depict Timmy attempting to tell Mr. Macky (the councilor) that Jimmy is taking steroids through the use of limited hand gestures and varying tones of the words “Timmy” and “Jimmy.”

While this leads to some cheap laughs at the expense of Timmy’s speech impediment, I believe there is an even deeper connotative meaning that can be decoded from this situation. In this scene, Timmy is physically prevented from communicating with a nondisabled individual; however, his disabled friend, Jimmy, is able to understand him perfectly. What I find so incredible about the Timmy character is that he perfectly represents the traditional interaction of the disabled with the nondisabled public. While we are all individuals, with different personalities and abilities, many nondisabled individuals seem to only hear us speaking the gibberish of a young child, treating us accordingly by raising their voice, speaking slowly, and avoiding any big words or subjects of consequence. I feel that what the creators of this series are really trying to do with the Timmy character is not to satirize a boy with a disabled, but rather, poke fun at the traditional perceptions of what our society constructs to be the ‘disabled child’.

Unfortunately, I fear this is a fairly accurate portrayal of the mainstream perception of the disabled, whether it is an overt or subliminal understanding. It is for this reason that advocates of the disabled and disabled activists must band together to encourage people to stop trying to see people with disabilities, but rather, to simply listen.

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Articles

Rumble in the Jungle: Tropic Thunder vs Intellectual Disabilities (repost)

Last year, Internets were abuzz over the past few weeks over the launch of the new Ben Stiller movie “Tropic Thunder” and the American-led boycott by advocates for individuals with intellectual disabilities. The argument is that the movie presents a negative representation of individuals with intellectual disabilities through a borderline-obsessive use of the word “retard” and a “Simple Jack” storyline, which allegedly aims for cheap laughs at the expense of people with intellectual disabilities.

Being a disabled advocate who is currently studying representations of disabilities in the media, I had to check out this movie and see what all the buzz was about. Although not immediately sure how I felt about the movie, upon further reflection I’ve decided I quite enjoyed it and don’t agree that this movie slanders individuals with disabilities.

Now, before I go any further, I will admit that I have never been diagnosed with an intellectual disability and do not consider myself to be directly a part of that community, although I did coach a Special Olympics hockey team for several years.

Having said that, I feel it’s important to look a little closer at this movie and not immediately classify it as trash just because it uses the cursed “R” word excessively. A quick glance at the Simple Jack storyline reveals the storyline is not taking shots at people with intellectual disabilities or attempting to get laughs at their expense. At its core, Tropic Thunder follows in the vein of many recent comedies, and arguably any comedy worth watching, in that it’s attempting to push the audience to a place they may not be overly comfortable confronting and then poking fun at our prudish perceptions. The goal here is to imply that these social faux pas may actually be ridiculous and require re-evaluation. What has been lost on some viewing this movie is that it’s a satire and is not attempting to make truthful claims about people with disabilities.

What this movie IS attempting to satirize, however, is Hollywood itself. Rather than poking fun at people with disabilities, Tropic Thunder is quite obviously taking aim at the Academy’s obsession with mentally challenged characters and the near-absurd parade of questionable movies that have been given the title of “masterpiece” simply because an actor pretends to have Down syndrome or autism (read: I Am Sam, The Rainman, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Forrest Gump, etc). It can be argued that these types of movies can be quite positive, inspiring audiences to “be better people.” At best, these movies help to show people that individuals with disabilities can contribute to society in a meaningful way, putting a face to disorders that are oft monolithic and marginalized.

But at their worst, films like I Am Sam contribute to a prevalent paternal superiority felt by the nondisabled, promoting the notion that people with disabilities have it so tough compared to everyone else and “normal folk” all have a lot to learn from those living the “simpler life.”

Ultimately, these films normalize what I like to call the “disabled hero syndrome,” where any accomplishment, no matter how easily achieved, place disabled character upon a pedestal of triumph. For accomplishing the simplest of tasks, we are often showered in patronizing complements and congratulations, to the point that every time I manage to go to the washroom anywhere but all over myself I half expect I’ll make headline news, complete with ticker-tape parades, a big achievement medal for bravery, and accolades raining from the rafters. While the disabled life can be difficult and sometimes we do go to extraordinary lengths to accomplish things some may consider medial or inconsequential, I’ve always found it strange when people are astonished and inspired by me completing a task that the nondisabled are simply expected to manage.

It is this superiority complex that Tropic Thunder so aggressively satirizes, to much success. If you ask me, we should not be boycotting or chastising Ben Stiller, we should be thanking him!

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Articles

Just a bit too tempting… (repost)

I totally forgot about this day until I went through some of my old blog posts from last year. It was just too funny not to repost.

*****

Given the warming weather and the arrival of my brand new wheelchair, my friend Dan (a fellow “crip”) and I decided to take our chairs out for a spin along the paths following the Thames River and check out Springbank Park. Driving along the path and taking in the sights, everything seemed to be going perfectly until we began running into people on the path.

Having spent my entire life in a chair, I don’t even notice the sidelong glances anymore and occasionally the seemingly obligatory “You’re going to get a speeding ticket” jest, but never in my life have I ever elicited such a response from such a broad number of people. Literally everyone we passed had something to say, whether it was a simple hello or perhaps some deeper commentary on the apparent hilariousness of two guys in wheelchairs out for a walk. One wheelchair is enough to elicit a stare, but apparently two chairs were just too tempting! I think it’s something like kryptonite to walkies. We even had one child question “Hey, are you old?” as we passed and a little later two children accosted us, bellowing “Hey, you don’t need wheelchairs, get out of there!” It was hands down one of the strangest occurrences of my life.

Generally speaking, people in wheelchairs are far from the norm in our society and while I see more and more people out and about in their chairs, it is still within the realm of possibility that someone could go their entire life without ever really interacting with someone in a wheelchair. It’s safe to assume that, at least in part, this limited contact tends to bring on the stares and the comments, as everyone loves to gawk at things that are strange and foreign to us.

Growing up I used to always get mad at parents who would chastise their children for staring at me, especially for berating the ones bold enough to ask me a question about the chair. While I can appreciate that the parents are simply trying to be polite, I think it’s important to open up a discourse and educate these children on disability so perhaps they won’t discourage their children for being intrigued and friendly in the future. By talking to people directly and openly about disability, we can help demystify the entire process, which will do more to normalize disability than any blog post ever could.

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Articles

Room with a view (repost)

 

As previously mentioned on this blog, I recently acquired a new electric wheelchair, an incredible piece of machinery produced by Permobil, called the “Permobil Street.” This chair is truly an incredible step forward in wheelchair technology, providing one of the smoothest and fastest rides I’ve ever had. The independent suspension and cambered wheelbase provides incomparable stability and is perfect for both city and all-terrain driving. For the first time ever, I think I may have finally found a wheelchair strong enough to withstand my high usage demands!

Perhaps more exciting is the added elevating seat feature I had installed. This fabulous piece of technology allows me to raise the seat up to bring my eye level to around 5-feet high, allowing me for the first time ever to converse with people face-to-face, naturalizing the social experience that many take for granted. It may seem insignificant, but there is something strange about conversing with someone in a wheelchair: walkies either tower over us or have to kneel down at our level, which I find both embarrassing and awkward.

I am truly astonished at what a difference this technology makes: everything looks different from up here. The raised perspective changes the way I look at everything. Suddenly, putting the freezer above the fridge makes sense, my cupboards are no longer for decoration, and it’s no longer a struggle attempting to operate light switches. Not only does this piece of technology help open up my own apartment, but also because it’s attached to the chair it is portable, meaning I can now do all of these tasks everywhere I go, not just in my “adapted home.”

Coming with a $5000 price tag, the seat elevating system is out of reach (…pun partially intended) for many living on ODSP. To make matters worse, the Adaptive Devices Program who help fund a majority of wheelchairs in Ontario have deemed this technology to be a “luxury” and “non-essential,” meaning it is up to the client to finance the technology themselves.

If the point of a wheelchair is to give someone his or her independence and this technology allows us to be more independent everywhere we take the chair, how is this it anything but essential? Consider the thousands of dollars being spent right now to renovate buildings to have lower cabinets, light switches, and door knobs when we could simply be building wheelchairs with increased functionality. I feel this makes far more sense than attempting to remodel existing infrastructure.

While I am a strong supporter of accessible/universal design, I am beginning to think a better way around some of these accessibility problems is by making wheelchairs more functional, not attempting to tear down and rebuild everything. Why isn’t there more funding for researching wheelchairs that can climb stairs? Why isn’t there funding for seat elevation and lowering?

Rather than reinventing the wheel(chair), we should be giving people the tools they need to live independently within their own environment, regardless if that environment follows universal design guidelines or not. By building accessibility into our chairs, we can have accessibility solutions now, while we wait for build environments to grow naturally as old buildings crumble and new, universally designed structures are erected.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToNtpmzvugM